Blah to everything

!!
Or maybe not really, the reason I'm feeling blah is probably 'cause I'm a bit tired and sleepy xD So in the morning I will feel better..
But oh wells! Might as well update my journal a lil 8D !
A few things has been on my mind lately, I thought that maybe Icould share them with you.

Well first of all, I'm so angry with myself, because I'm so lazy and I'm such a loser.
I could have practiced one month of kung fu this summer(which i love!!). But I felt that didn't have the time at first, until I managed to get some time off so that I could atleast have a week to practice!
I went and trained for a couple of days, like (only) 3 days I think...
And that was all. >'(
I'm so damn dissapointed with myself.. maybe I started too rough, due to not working out for a very long while I'm physically not in such a great shape. I suck actually, so I could've used some working out.. but NOOOO >_< I manage to find reasons not to go!!
Well the reason I didn't work out and practice kung fu was 'cause I've registered myself to a web-summer-math-course and it's really hard! (Atleast if you don't have anyone to talk to/chat with about the small problems.) And it's so damn timeconsuming! It eats time i swear!!

So I try to keep myself serious and study like a good girl..
But one day, like a week ago (I hadn't even done that much math yet):
I wake up, eat breakfast and I literally spend the whole day (only with breaks for food and bathroom), I spend the whole freaakin day infront of the comp trying to solve math problems!!!
And I can't, i just dont manage to finish the chapter im suppossed to do! And it's so damn depressing because it makes me feel so dumb!! I don't understand and I'm so damn embaressingly silly because I'm afraid to post in the "help-forum"!!
Mainly 'cause I'm like the only one that gets stuck on the "simple" problems.. and noone else even seem to need any help except for me!! I'm so sick of being the only one posting there!!! it's so damn embaressing!!!
So after that day I quit doing the math everyday..

and when my parents ask me how the math is going the only thing I (can) do is mumble...
sigh...stupid math.. got to take care of it tomorrow.. gotto kick some stupid effin math ass >'(
Something fun has happened though, I've started to practice driving!! Hopefully I can get a license sometime soon, very soon I hope, though I've just started.. But I really really want a license!! It would be so freakinshly liberating to have one! xD
Oh! and atleast teh artness is going better! No artblocks yet! 8D
(and hopefully I didn't just jinx myself by saying that >_>;;; )
Now I've got the time so I don't need to be scared of doing bigger art-projects!! I can without the fear for lack of sleep, falling behind in school etcetc draw!! and it feels so gewd!!!

hurrahh!! \o/
oo, and I've watched some good films this summer too!
enchanted (was allright, expected more though D: )
stardust, wooonderful fairytale!! And I love fairytales!! It had everything! princes/princesses/magic/unicorns/captains etcetc xD muchmuchmuuuch love to stardust!!
And ofcourse.. Sweeney Todd!!! D: I seriously love that movie!!
At first I was a bit dissapointed at the music, don't ask me why, I just didn't find it that special..
But holy frick, it IS special!! I mean, I've seen the film 2 times now (I know, I know, not that very many times.. but still!!)
And I canot stop listening to the soundtrack for my life!!
If I don't listen to the music I must hum it! If i dont hum the music it goes on in my head!!!
The best thing is, because it's a musical, all I need is the music and I feel exactly the same way I felt when I heard it in the movie! It's like its replayed in my head all over again! I know exactly which scene it is and what happened and all the faces! It's such an incredible film!! I could just go on and on and on about it! xD and seriously, I'm a fool for music!! lawl
Except for that I've just discovered RainCookie on deviantart!
I luff her art/stuff!

It's so cute and it makes me happy xD lawl
Also I wish I could be more active when it comes to forums and deviantart.. I mean, I don't want to only post pictures, I want to comment all my friends and others pictures! And i want to make pretty journals!! I want to learn to know more ppl online!
Seriously! It's fun to be able to "hang out with artists", especially since i dont know that very many in rl! I mean, its nice when there is someone that actually shares that interest!! But I SUCK at being social on the net! D'':
I mean I often watch and read, but most of the time I'm too lazy to post, or I just don't do it :/ (=own fault! xD)
I'm so slow when it comes to those things! And it feels like everyone else is so fast!!! The time it takes for me to update/comment/draw a pic, someone does it atleast 3 times as fast as me!!
That just makes me feel pressured and stressed! And when I don't respond to someone fast enough I feel that that person will hate me forever and ever, and this also makes me feel pressured

! But at the same time I want to give thoughtful replies and such etcetc... It takes so damn much time for me T_T like teh effin math.. I'm slow.. sigh.. and a bit lazy.. <sob>
Anywho.. I'm gonna try to get more active, and maybe if it goes well and I like it, I'll even subscribe on deviart! It's actually quite cheap D: *just noticed the price*
oh..plus I seriously need to learn how to make thumbnail-links... o_< Where do I freakin find out how to do that!?!?!?!
Anywhoos, I'm starting to freak out a bit, tomorrow is a new day though! I can deal with some stuff then xD ! Like stupid math... why do I do this to myself!? I should enjoy summerholidays! not get school-related things to do! D':
Anyways.. babyes luv's!!<3
And dont worry, I don't actually expect you all to read this, I just feel I needed to write it down, thats all :/
I want to give big thankyou to all of you who comment/fave my stuff, it really means alot <3 thankyou !! :'o
ps. I'll shut up soon I promise, but I just wonder where/if I can find all the short commands on how to create links, change size/colours of the text when writing on DA D:!